Okwuí Mask Scheme
Rose loved to play doctor every weekend with Amina and Ngozi at home while her parents were off at the market. She dreamed of becoming a doctor like the doctors on the television. She smiled every time guests at her parents home commented on her beauty. A lot of Uncles brought her biscuits that she liked so much. A few months after she turned 12, she ran to her mother’s room crying petrified about the blood stain in her pants. Her mother explained to her that she had become a woman. Rose remembers coming home one day and her bags were packed, her mother was crying at a corner and her beloved father was surrounded by Uncles and Aunties, and she saw him, her special Uncle that always came bearing gifts of biscuits. She was told that she had to go live with her Uncle as his wife and excitedly; she picked up her bags and bounced on with them to Uncle’s house. She wondered why her mother cried so much.
There were no more special biscuits in Uncle’s house. Every night she experienced pain in between her legs with his huge body over her. She felt like she was going to choke due to his huge weight. The pain made Rose beg Uncle to stop but, she got beaten into a pulp every night that she was too afraid to refuse to open her legs. Uncle’s wife Aisha was kind to her and explained to her that it was her duty to her husband Uncle. Rose wondered why she couldn’t go to school anymore or play with Amina and Ngozi. Ten months into living with Uncle, she noticed her tummy growing bigger. Aisha told her she was pregnant and would soon have a baby. Rose felt the pain at about midnight, it was worse than Uncle’s beatings but, Aisha was there with so many other women, they asked her to push but she couldn’t understand what they meant. Rose was happy when her beautiful baby girl was put in her hands.
603 MILLION
WOMEN
“LIVE WHERE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS NOT
CONSIDERED A CRIME.”
Uncle frowned because it was yet another girl. Days following the birth of Lily, she smelled of urine everywhere she went. Uncle called her a dirty little girl who was of no good. At 14, she was sent back to her parents with a little girl. Her father was too upset; he made her life so miserable for adding to the feeding mouths at home. Rose got lucky; some doctors visited her village and stopped her constant leaking of urine. Months after this, she was married off again at the age of 16 to yet another Uncle. Luckily, this new Uncle looked after her very well. She went on to have 4 other children, all girls. Ten years into the marriage, Rose walked into her husband trying to rape petrified Lily. Rose knew she had to protect Lily, so she pounced on her husband but instead was beaten and if not for her screams over his promise to kill her if she didn’t let him have Lily. Lily was only a little over 11 years of age…………
Amaka remembers her wedding day as the happiest day in her marriage. She danced so much as she and Emeka partied into the night. As soon as they retired into the bedroom, Emeka brought up the issue about something she couldn’t remember anymore. Amaka as a top lawyer argued her opinion as she had done throughout the courtship. She was shocked as she felt Emeka’s hand across her face that she fell unto the bed. As she turned to ask why he slapped her, he started crying and explained that he must have had too much to drink. He told her how much he loved her. She forgave him but that was just the beginning. Slaps preceded belt flogging, choking and punching came before forceful rape events. Amaka stopped having days when her body didn’t have a different colour from her fair smooth complexion. Still Amaka knew that Emeka loved her despite Emeka’s constantly telling her she was a waste of space and a burden to him. Despite Amaka being a lawyer and financially independent, she lied to friends and colleagues about multiple black eyes and hospitalisations. Some friends encouraged her to seek police protection and family support. Police told her it was a family matter and sent her away. Amaka’s mother told her that no Nigerian woman leaves her husband because he beats her and told her to be grateful that he still paid the bills and took care of her children.
Emeka’s parents asked her to change her ways since Emeka was well brought up and Amaka must be provoking him to warrant the beatings. Her married friends shared the horrors of their marriage, which ranged from psychological to physical abuse. Amaka decided to persevere in order to give her children a good life. Eight months into Amaka’s pregnancy to her third child, Emeka pushed her down the stairs. She never woke up.
One in every five Nigerian woman has been exposed to a form of gender-based violence. In 2008, a health survey revealed a 73% sexual violation in young girls even younger than 10 years of age. Gender-based violence as defined by the United Nations is any act of violence that results in or is likely to result in physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty occurring in a private (domestic) or public life.
Cases of gender violence continue to rise every day especially with the advert of social media as means of advertising this menace against women. Gender based violence has continued to produce a ripple effect in Nigeria. It stops women from getting the right education, which not only empowers them but, invariably ensures contribution to the national workforce leading to loss of economic output. It encroaches into the limited medical services in the country thereby causing a huge burden on the health care system and leading to increased times out of work. More importantly the victim is left devastated, traumatised or dead; leaving young children who would go on to be abused and the cycle repeated over generations. This act weakens a nation.
Why did Rose and Amaka’s parents, friends, neighbours and colleagues keep quiet but cried at their funeral? Why did they read a eulogy about their beautiful daughters but didn’t do anything to save them from the perpetrators? What happened in court when their spouses denied murder and came up with the stories of accident?
Nigeria’s culture of silence, values, norms, misinterpretation of religious doctrines has lead to persistence of abusive practices against women and girls. Lack of strong legislations and cultural bias by public institutions meant to protect these women has lead to both under reporting of cases and continued victimization of women while protecting the perpetrators. In Nigeria, the Penal Code of Northern Nigeria permits a man to reasonably chastise his wife.
Despite the rise in women activists and support groups, these women continue to lack support needed to free them from this prison of violence. In the event that they stand up and escape, the community stigmatizes them; a shame that discourages fighting for their basic human rights to happy lovable living.
The Nigerian Senate early in 2015 following the kidnapping of over 300 young girls, passed the Violence Against Persons Prohibition (VAPP) Bill targeted at crushing different forms of gender-based violence. Since this law has come into place, no single perpetrator has been convicted of this crime. The more important question is why it had to take 300 girls to go missing before a law is passed as an attempt to safeguard people.
Violence against women and girls is a health epidemic that not only causes a gross violation of human rights but also impacts on global development by directly affecting productivity and the economy across the globe.
Okwuí as an affordable luxury lifestyle group prides itself, as been an element towards providing joy and happiness to every living human across the globe especially in Nigeria. Gender based violence is a cankerworm that not only undermines the individual but eats up an entire nation. Therefore, Okwuí is giving 10% of its profit towards events to ensure that educating and empowering women and girls while influencing legislations through campaigns protect every woman and child in Nigeria against this crime.
At Okwuí, we are unveiling the mask on the faces of all Nigerians and the world that have refused to help women and girls live a fearless life. We all must unveil this mask of silence and get the police, parents, friends, colleagues and even strangers to report and act on these cases until the government makes a change.
Join Okwuí to ensure that no more Roses, Amakas, any woman or girl die or experience violence. Life is beautiful, is it too hard to ask to just live!!!!
Let’s take the mask off gender-based violence!!!!!!!!!!!!